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Soccer/Football in Madrid: The Real Madrid Store

The Real Madrid Store - For all Your Buying Needs

If there is any lingering doubt in your mind that Real Madrid qualifies for cult status, simply visit their store. I assure you; you’ll come away a changed person. From infant pacifiers to women's underwear, they have managed to brand every product on the planet. Although some items are available on line and others at the stadium, this is the most complete collection of Real Madrid paraphernalia in the known universe. Now, if you’re guessing that you can find t-shirts, polo shirts...

The Real Madrid Store

If there is any lingering doubt in your mind that Real Madrid qualifies for cult status, simply visit their store. I assure you; you’ll come away a changed person. From infant pacifiers to women's underwear, they have managed to brand every product on the planet.

Although some items are available on line and others at the stadium, this is the most complete collection of Real Madrid paraphernalia in the known universe.

Now, if you’re guessing that you can find t-shirts, polo shirts, sweatshirts, tank tops, hats, caps, scarves, shin guards, socks and shorts, you are, of course, correct.

Many even probably anticipate finding shot glasses, beer steins, wine glasses, coasters, pitchers, plates and spoons. The products are mounting, but we are still within the realm of normality. Since you could furnish an entire house with these products, I asked the woman at the counter if you could be listed here for your wedding – she looked at me as if I were crazy. I felt like saying, “Hey baby, I’m not the one selling David Beckham dolls to grown men for a living!”

At this point in our journey, we leave Earth entirely and launch into the “Real Madrid-o-sphere”. Bon voyage! You can buy Real Madrid lamps, women’s high heeled sandals, school supplies, electronic shavers, play tables and chairs for children, Gameboy covers, and LOTS more – nothing is safe from their evangelical branding fervor. In the beginning, there was the word and the word was, “Real Madrid”.

Inundated with stimulus, I got so disoriented at one point I thought I found a Real Madrid sex toy section. The slightly kinky looking item in question turned out to be a harness for a very small dog – don’t ask what I thought it was for. The point here is that there is product line devoted to their canine fans. In addition to the harnesses, these pups can drink out of Real Madrid bowls, sleep in Real Madrid “doggie” beds, and even hang out on the Real Madrid “doggie” couches. But that's not all, won’t they be the envy of all the other pooches when they are prancing around the barrio on their Real Madrid leash sporting their Real Madrid jacket?

The store really is its own universe - you’ll either love it or hate it. I was pushed to the edge at one point, but just then I saw two port-bellied, gray-haired men in full suits buying up everything they could get their hands on – I don’t think they had smiled that much since age 12. I imagined them in their new Real Madrid pajamas, brushing their teeth with their new team toothbrush – my heart warmed a bit. Hey, if it keeps people young-at-heart and happy, who am I to criticize?