Midnight – what may be the bewitching hour back home -sending crystal-shod princesses scurrying for their carriages- means something very different in Spain. At this hour, many a Madrileño will be just finishing a leisurely dinner and contemplating dessert.
However, if the stroke of twelve fills you with nocturnal naughtiness and leaves you hungering for “desserts” of other sorts, LL has you covered. At this hour, many Chueca bars are scarcely filled, but LL is jammed shoulder to shoulder with eager audiences fixated on the stage. What are they reverently waiting for? Fairy Godmothers, of course! Yes, an international host of sassy-mouthed
drag queens kick the night off.
If you don’t speak Spanish – no worries. For one thing, the
acts tend to transcend language and you’ll find yourself entertained despite your incomprehension. For another thing, the drag queens only herald the beginning of the strip tease. If a beefy policeman suddenly appears on
stage, once again – no worries – he isn’t there to “bust the joint” he’s there
to “bust a move”. Soon enough he’ll be sinuously gyrating around stage, showing off his “official issue” police Speedos. And speaking of what he has been officially issued – wow! Let’s just say it was a very impressive head-hunter that rounded up the stripping staff, OK?
How much do they charge for all of this? Zero – just the way we like it!
There is, however, an unofficially cover. Hawk-eyed employees insure that everyone who enters buys a minimum of one drink. If you don’t, they… sick the beefy police officer on you? You wish! To the contrary, they pry you away from the lovely hunk-o-man and force you back onto the dark empty street. Consider the drink an investment, not a purchase.
After investing in a few drinks and having seen the midnight show, you’ll likely find the crowd to be extremely friendly. It is a 50/50 mix of locals
and tourists – Ukraine, China, Scotland, you name it – and everyone is
extremely focused on international relations.
All of this plays out in a typical shoe-box-shaped, medium-sized bar.
Downstairs is a smaller second bar and the “restrooms” which can be an
adventure all their own. If you swing left upon entering the bathrooms there is a little darkroom that I, of course, didn’t explore, but it seemed to function
as the headquarters for the international relations sub-committee. As I peered on from a safe distance, I noticed several lads being debriefed on what appeared to be very pressing issues. Always good to see people embracing their civic duties with such enthusiasm.
LL is a great starter bar. After that you you can venture into the
night. Who knows, if you are luck you might even find your Cinder-fella.
Gay Bar: LL
Entrance: None, but you must buy a drink